Some video games have this little timer or clock that sits on the edge of the screen, evaluating your progress. You have a certain amount of time to complete your task otherwise you have to restart the entire level. That’s kind of what it felt like living on study and work permits.
For over a decade, I diligently submitted my application and waited six months for the government to review the forms prior to their approval. If I didn’t qualify then I would receive a letter asking me to reapply. Most of the time the rejections were based on missing documents or human errors. Point being, mistakes were not allowed or tolerated. I can understand why but it was still infuriating having to pay the additional fees and re-submitting the forms by mail.
I tried to renew my permits three months prior to their expiry date because I knew HR would be on my case otherwise. I paid the price whenever I missed that window of opportunity and was forced to print out a letter for my employers, explaining I had ‘implied status’.
Implied status means that if a permit expires after an applicant submits a request for a renewal, legally the applicant is still considered a worker and therefore cannot be fired.
Implied status saved me a few times but I often thought about how unfair it was for me to have to do this year after year. I grew up in this country, I paid taxes, worked, volunteered, did everything I could possibly do to be an exemplary citizen and the universe was still giving me a hard time.
I remember there were days where I wished I could just return to my place of origin and start a life there. I looked into what kind of jobs I could get and if this would be feasible for the daughter of a former diplomat.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t.
Resentment was soon joined by anger and it manifested into something truly ugly. I stopped caring about the outcome. I stopped wanting to prove myself. I started detaching myself from the friends I had made and the relationships I had built. I trained myself to smile. I put on a facade that showcased a fairly normal life but inside I was breaking. I was being dragged through the mud by a rope that was bound to break. I could resist all I wanted. I could fight with all my might but at the end of the day, I was helpless. 21 years later and I still had zero control over my life.
Expiry Date 